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April 2007

Taking 'food' out of foodservice and other heartbreaks

Conferences are universally reviled for poor food. Served banquet-style, or in a buffet, breakfast, lunch and dinner are usually times of mourning (for real food) and complaint (endless, expected, and unchanging). In the past I’ve tried to be optimistic, and have welcomed every course with anticipation and surprise. Although my corporate handlers would request ‘delight’ in addition to surprise, I have yet to actually enjoy a conference meal let alone find it delightful.

My capacity for palate fatigue and intestinal torture was yet again pushed to the limit this past week at a conference for women in the foodservice industry. These women are food professionals - people who have made their careers building a better chain restaurant or chain restaurant experience.

As I made my way through each salad, snack break, and unappealing banquet platter, I made notes for the sole purpose of sharing the experience. In the past two years I have learned not to have expectations for food quality, especially at conferences for food professionals. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Key to ratings:

* An experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong. I will not admit to actually eating this.

** Suspiciously deep-fried – even the salad.

*** Choked down with some guilt.

**** Went back for seconds, although I’ll be paying for it in the morning.

***** I’d consider paying for it out of pocket if it weren’t already covered.

Unless otherwise noted, all meals provided by the hotel in which the conference was held. All snacks provided by 'sponsors' who donated product

Sunday, April 15

Opening Night Reception ***

I arrived suspiciously early to size up the dinner that lay ahead. I had made a vow to refrain from flour, following the poorly heeded advice of my nutritionist, and decided this would be the night to start. After appraising the spread – a selection of fried entrees (“fried parmesan and artichoke globes”; “crawfish balls”; “crab –not krab, phew – cakes with mango goo”) “Asian-influenced” fare (“chicken skewers with some sweet goo”; “vegetarian potstickers”; “deep fried wontons”) and grilled vegetables, I opted for a glass of some generic corporate red wine. Subsequently, to get the flavor out of my mouth, I dashed to the buffet and started eating crab cakes and pot stickers, one by one with my hands, using my napkin as a plate. It was, admittedly, disgusting. But since I didn’t know anyone, I figured it didn’t matter. And then I remembered that I was wearing a name tag.

** Fried Stuff. Even the crawfish balls were crawfish-free.

****Grilled Vegetables. It seemed I was the only one who really cared about asparagus.

Monday, April 16th

Breakfast, Java Coast Café ***

I asked for an extra dry Cappuccino. I love my dry cappuccino. How difficult is a dry cappuccino? Not very. All it is is a couple shots of espresso topped with a lot of foam – deep, rich foam. This foam had big bubbles and the drink was too milky. And to think I actually paid $4.50 for it, plus tip. Oh well, it was still better than the generic breakfast they served in the banquet hall downstairs.

Snack Break, Morning ***

This sponsored snack break in hindsight proved to be the best one – if only I had stockpiled! Sponsored by Campbells and Kelloggs, the break featured those nasty soft nutrigrain bars, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Milano cookies. I took a pack of cookies and dunked them into the flavorless coffee that were sitting in sterno-powered urns (there is no worse way to serve coffee – the quality plummets dramatically when in contact with a hot sterno flame). I threw out the coffee after I finished dunking the cookie. Again I gave little mind to the disgusting factor of my actions. There was also plenty of Coke and Pepsi product – too bad Dasani and Aquafina are the only things I would drink, I am ashamed to say (I've got an internal prohibition against bottled water).

Lunch **

Big Old Banquet Hall for 3000 I was late for lunch. By the time I showed up, everyone had finished their salads and there were no free seats. I wandered around, going from table to table, trying to find a table to insinuate myself into. After a ten minute walk from one end to the next, I found a seat wedged between a portly “talent acquisition” (i.e. recruiting) VP and a woman who took no interest in me. After I ate my salad, I pulled out my food notes, which the portly VP noticed. “So,” he asked, looking at the ‘menu’ for the meal, “what was in the salad?” After rattling off the ingredients – nearly perfectly, I may add, except for the omission of ‘Boston’ when describing the Bibb lettuce – his colleague, a young woman of some girth – pointed out that I was very geeky for taking notes. Did I play Warcraft (super geeky online game – I’m bad but not that bad) she wanted to know. Of course I ended up offending her, because Warcraft was her game of choice. So much for making friends.

The entrée, a welter of reddish sauce, undercooked vegetables, and muy mysterioso pork, was as dissatisfying as it was unpalatable. After offering my pork to the rest of the table (no takers, surprise) I proceeded to gobble down my asparagus (with my fingers) and attempted to carve up the baby carrots, which could have been used as weapons. They were practically raw and a little pointy at the end – just the right size for taking out an eye. I ate my indifferent neighbor’s asparagus from her abandoned plate after boldy asking her permission. “Go right ahead,” she said. “And eat the carrots too.” Dessert was an anemic piece of lemon cake – lemon cake! A fakey-moist layer of ‘lemon’ flavored cake was filled with lemon-ish curd and iced with lemon-esque buttercream. Oh yeah, and there was some raspberry-like jam, too. I ate the icing. Can’t say no to icing. So much for my integrity.

Afternoon Snack *

Tell me, did I do something wrong in my previous life? Does God laugh as I push my way past the business-attired crowds, through the throngs of self-help book readers, to get to the table only to find the same out-of-the freezer brownies as were served the night before? Do my tears mean anything? How long did I have to search before I found a freezer of Blue Bunny ice cream novelties, limited to some peanut butter ice cream treat and a giant frozen ice cream hydrox/oreo cookie? And then how many bites did I actually take of the peanut butter novelty? One! I took one bite. And threw it in the trash.

Dinner ** Reception at some fish restaurant for a bunch of people from my company

I am grateful to my colleagues who made the time and effort to set up this event.

I am grateful for their foresight, their willingness to get involved, and their follow-through.

I am grateful that we had two hours of open bar, that the frozen thingy I drank had no alcohol (still recovering from a nights that were not so much debauch as they were irresponsible. There was this voice in my head saying, “dammit, drink the freakin’ water, what is wrong with you” which I of course ignored).

I am grateful that there was a stilt walker/balloon girl, made up to look very much like a trannie, who fulfilled my request to make a ‘balloon bra’, which I wore proudly, much to my colleague’s dismay (note: we were all women).

I am grateful to the servers, who were always there to offer me a drink when mine ran out. But dammit, couldn’t someone have gotten us better food? We had the same crab cakes as the night before, and the same chicken skewers. There was this interesting concoction called a ‘Shrimp Martini’ – mashed potatoes covered with warm scallops, shrimp, and crawfish, topped with some kind of creamy gravy and mango chutney and garnished with a giant cracker. It was, ahem, interesting. And then this cheese plate. There were odd shaped chunks of Port Cheddar, generic blue cheese, and something off-puttingly white. I was scared. I did gorge myself with chicken skewers, obviating the need for more food. The rest of my colleagues went to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Breakfast, Java Coast Café * How can you screw up a dry cappuccino and a bagel with cream cheese? I’ll tell you – you don’t make a dry cappuccino, and you find the oldest, nastiest, fakiest bagel you can find and age it for a few days, toast it and then don’t bother to mask it with butter or cream cheese. It was like eating sawdust, but without the fiber.

Snack Break ***

After my nasty bagel, I wasn’t going to eat anything during snack break. Which was too bad, because they were serving Yoplait yogurt and some quickbreads. Not that I love either, but they were better than anything I had eaten in a while. And that's saying a lot.

Lunch ***

I skipped the official lunch. Last year it was so awful that I knew a few hours in the sun and a lunch paid for by the company would beat out anything they were serving in a dark conference room to the accompanying sounds of self-congratulation. I was joined by five of my colleagues, who had the same idea. I ate French fries and a chicken sandwich and got a rosy sunburn. The thing that fired me up about resort hotel chicken is that it wasn't fresh tasting – it had a nasty warmed-over flavor which I masked with ample quantities of ketchup. I then ate a slice of a colleague’s flatbread, which had a remarkably awful tasting crust.

Afternoon Snack ***

I couldn’t find the promised Baskin-Robbins ice cream cups anywhere. Women were running to tables and grabbing boxes of peanut-caramel Crunch N Munch. I managed to pull one of the last boxes out from another young woman's reach. After speaking with our VP of R&D with my mouth full of popcorn, I put the box down and walked away. I noticed that many of my sisters-in-arms continued to snack throughout the rest of the afternoon. That’s one hour less on the treadmill for me.

Dinner ***

Another big banquet-thingy, with lots of red meat. There were stale rolls (what is up with the stale bread thing? It seemed every piece of bread I ate had been aging for several days before it was served). I wolfed down a gross of stale rolls, slathered in butter and red pepper hummus. I dug into my salad with gusto- two rounds of processed goat cheese, topped with too much pink peppercorn and black pepper. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. You see, I had asked –foolishly, of course- for a plate without red meat. By the time I was served, my compatriots had finished their entrées. So in typical fashion, I ate off their plates, until mine arrived. My fish was cooked to leather, and had a certain bounce to it. Dessert was inedible. We were served a trio of desserts provided by one of the companies attending the conference. A cheesecake slice, a brownie tart, and a wedge of tiramisu were topped with a rosette of non-dairy topping. I ate the tiramisu, because it was the only thing that didn’t taste artificial and had a pleasant-enough texture. Then I grabbed my commemorative mug and made a dash for it before the presentations began.

Conference Overall Food Score: **1/2

Crushing. If there’s anything that shakes my faith in the future of the foodservice industry, it is poor dining options at foodservice conferences. If you can’t make things taste good for your industry colleagues, then what the hell are you serving to the consumer? Thank you very much, but in the future I’ll be bringing my own food to conferences, even if that means a week of maple-brown sugar oatmeal.

Family Time

If you are here for a food article, please skip to the archives. Cake has temporarily left the building to honor the dead.

(On April 3, 2007, my mother discovered my 30 year old sister Emily dead in her apartment.  Emily, who had suffered from psycho-affective disorder, a severe form of bi-polar disorder, led a life that few would envy. This entry is about her and our experience in the days following her death)

On the first Tuesday morning of April I was sitting at my desk, readying a case of wine for UPS shipment to NY. Shipping wine is not my job, and I probably should not have been doing it during work, but I could not foresee having any other free time during the week. I went to the mail room and brought the scale back to my desk. I turned to my computer to finish a jokey email to a friend. And then my phone rang. I saw from the number that it was my mother calling, on a new cell phone number that I had given her. I figured she was trying it out to see if it worked.

"Mom?"

There was a pause.

And then screaming. "EMILY'S DEAD."

"What? WHAT?!" I grabbed my phone and ran into a semi-private room in the office. "WHAT!" I screamed again.

Wailing: "I'm at Emily's apartment, I came to help her move. She didn't answer the door. She's blue. She's dead."

Emily is my youngest sister. She is 30 years old.

"NO!" I screamed. I started wailing into the phone, hyperventilating. "NO!" I screamed the way I imagine the Greek women of the Iliad would scream after learning the news of their husband's death - a shrill, high pitched keen.

Faces began appearing at the window by the room. People ran over. People ran away. I lay on the floor, sobbing. My boss appeared at the window. And I remember saying loudly, "my sister killed herself" as he escorted me into his office.

I can't remember much about the next 15 minutes. I remember HR coming into my boss' office and telling me to take my time and go home for as long as I needed. My boss agreed. And then booked me on the next flight home, a 2.5 hour flight from where I live. I saw that many people were gathered outside my boss' office, hungry for news or gossip or just lovers of schadenfreude. It didn't matter to me. My sister, who had been ill for the last ten years with "schizo-affective disorder" (read: looks like bipolar, smells like schizophrenia), had taken a fatal overdose of pills and hadn't been discovered for two days, even though she had missed appointments, dinners, and brunch. I assumed it was an overdose at least - she had once tried to kill herself with sleeping pills, but after two days woke up long enough to tell my mother what she had done, and that it hadn't worked. And then she went back to sleep.

Eleven hours later I was at my mom's house. Her eyes were puffy and red. Two of her friends were with her. "Thank you," I told them, hugging each of them. "Thank you for being with her." They left the house.

At first nothing felt different. The house was the same. Emily lived about 20 minutes away, in an apartment, so she had few possessions at my mom's. Then I realized the phone was ringing every 5 minutes, and that none of the calls were from her. Ordinarily she would call my mom up to 6 or 7 times a night when she needed or wanted something. Now those calls were friends and family, calling to find out what had happened.

Emily, it turns out, may not have overdosed. There was a possibility that the mixture of drugs - Abilify, Lithium, Haldol, a tranquilizer or two - may have taken a toll on her and caused her to die from cardiac arrest. She was found in her bed, no note, no empty bottle of pills, nothing that said, "I HAVE INTENTIONALLY KILLED MYSELF." This gave me comfort. Yes, her death was a big accident, I told myself, not something she intended to do. I spent the next two hours, before drifting off to sleep, thinking about different ways her medication could have killed her.

My mother took two tranquilizers and went to bed.

The next morning my best friend arrived, and as it snowed we went through Emily's room on the second floor. The room was mostly empty; she had removed most of her things two years earlier, when she moved out. The rug was stained with cola and coffee, there was cat crap caked on her clothes and on the floor, and garbage hidden behind her dresser and under her bed. Two years and untouched by my mother, untouched by Emily. My friend and I bulldozed through the room, packing up clothes into trash bags and separating her crap into "garbage crap" and "Goodwill crap" piles. I did it without sentiment or thought. It was just something that needed to get done. I wanted to stop my mother from reliving her memories through Emily's long abandoned high school books, old IDs, hippie CDs and jewelry, loose change, photographs, and endless heaps of clothes too old or big or small to wear.

There were diaries dating back to Emily's 8th grade year, just after I had finished college. There were cruel denouncements of me our other sister Amanda. Even at age 13, she hated us and cursed our existence. I knew this already, but I didn't think Amanda was ready to read what 13 year old Emily had to say. It was a long time ago, but her words could still hurt. I found it difficult to put the diaries down. There were stories of prank calling her friends, of my mother being a 'bitch', of hookups with boys who just didn't care. There were tales of pot smoking in high school, bar hopping in high school and other things that we always knew she did but she wouldn't quite tell us. She repeatedly called herself ugly.

In about 3 hours we had organized the mess and had dropped off two carloads of crap and filled two trash cans. And this was just her abandoned room. I couldn't imagine what her apartment would look like.

_________________________

Bodies change when they die. That's what the funeral director told us. Some people want to see the body of their loved one to confirm that yes, this person is really and truly dead. I raised my eyebrows. Did they cut Emily up when they autopsied her? Was she still hard from rigor mortis? Yes she was cut up. And no, we would not want to see her. Death had changed Emily, and we would not like what we saw.

The police detective in charge of Emily's case was equally concerned. Make sure you have someone go into the apartment after they take away the body, he told Peter, a family friend. The body loses its fluids - if her bowels are full they empty, if her bladder is full it empties. There would be bodily fluids on the sheets, a reminder that she had died in bed...that she had lived and died and there was nothing left but excrement and piss.

The detective went back to Emily's apartment and took the sheets away. He told my mother this when she went to pick up Emily's keys from him. For two days, until they determined there was no foul play, Emily's apartment was a crime scene. Now it just contained the belongings of a dead girl who we would never see again.

___________________________________________________________

A week before Emily died, my mother tried to break my sister's lease. Through the hard work of an intermediary, Emily was accepted into special housing for disabled people. Although physically able to work, Emily used her mental illness - and frequent visits to psych wards at local podunk hospitals - as an excuse to stay home. Until six months ago, Emily had a regular job. And then she snapped. Instead of quitting her job, she checked herself into a hospital and had my mother 'quit' for her by proxy. My mother called the boss and told her that Emily would not be back.

Emily's apartment manager informed my mother that yes she could break the lease for $5000 -- approximately 4 months rent. My mother was prepared to pay it. The possibility of the special housing, which would give Emily access to regular mental health in-home visits, offered an opportunity that could help her learn to work with her illness. Emily had gone to - and quit- just about every program she started. She went to a lodge, a day program for mentally ill people, and complained that they were too sick, or were ogling her, or were harassing her, or were unfriendly. She went to group meetings but decided that everyone except her was a mess, or stupid, or useless, or that she was a better counselor than any of the counselors. Nothing was good enough. Maybe finally she had lucked into something good.

So there was reason for optimism. My mother was happy. I spoke to her on Friday and there was a song in her voice, the first time she seemed genuinely excited in months. My mother had become deeply depressed as Emily's illness worsened over the last six months. Next door neighbors who had been disturbing Emily because they had been "going at it" all day long turned out to be phantoms. Emily had caused a scene in the hallway of her building when she began screaming. She was unsafe, she had to get out. She was going to move home, something my mother adamantly refused. My mother had already given up ten years of her life to Emily; there was no way she was going to allow Emily to move home. She had been there for five years already, and had been pushy and demanding and difficult. She would stay up in her room and scream. She would howl for hours. It reminded me of Hitchcock's Rebecca -- the first wife, locked in an attic, wailing.

I didn't go home much during this period. I stopped attending family holidays. My presence and Amanda's presence seemed to bring out the worst in her. Whether real or imagined, Amanda and I...and my mother at times...were the enemies. Even my father, dead since '99, haunted Emily.

We thought the spirit world was giving Emily one more chance with the housing. We were wrong.

_______________________________________

Four days before my mother found Emily's body, Emily visited her psychopharmacologist. She told him that she had run out of Lithium. She hadn't taken it in four days. Emily's last three hospitalizations occurred after she let her Lithium run out. She no longer had problems paying for Lithium - she was receiving free health insurance from the state and as a member of the lowest income level did not have to pay a penny for her health care, and only a few dollars for medication. She could have asked my mother to pick it up, but she didn't even bother to tell her that she had run out.

Two and a half days before my mother found Emily's body, Emily picked a fight with my mother. After agreeing to a holiday dinner - it would get Emily "outside [her] comfort zone", Emily demanded that my mother take her to dinner. My mother, a diabetic, told Emily that her suggestion, Pizza, would not work - My mother would go to the Thai restaurant, the Japanese restaurant, or the Chinese restaurant, but pizza and diabetes wouldn't work. Instead of talking it out, Emily barked at my mother and stormed off. This routine behavior was expected from Emily. Instead of reasoning it out with my mother, Emily took my mom's preferences as a hostile rejection, and she responded in a way that seemed equal to the offense.

Two nights later, Emily didn't show up for the dinner. My mother assumed, understandably, that Emily was blowing off the evening, as was her habit. Mom didn't realize it, but Emily was already dead.

___________________________________

I'm now an expert in managing death - unfortunately. In the last eight years I've lost three immediate family members - My father, my grandmother, and my sister. I've also lost a close friend, who died suddenly from a stroke. I'm not yet 40, and I feel that for a bourgeois child of privilege, I've lost more than my fair share of family and friends. I'm not sure if each death has made me a little colder, or less sensitive, or more isolated. My first thoughts upon learning of Emily's death were of shame -- would I ever find anyone interested in knowing a 'cursed' person like me? Would I be avoided at work? Would I be seen as bad luck? I didn't think immediately of the events that would necessarily follow - the funeral, the lows, my mother, alone finally. I thought of how others would see me. Would I go on dates and have to explain my situation. My mother asked me, "what should I say when people ask me how many children I have?" I wanted to know what I should say, too. Death makes people uncomfortable. I know this because every time I tell someone that my father has died, they apologize. Please don't apologize. It was a long time ago. Please don't look at me in the eyes with a look of understanding about my sister, my father. You won't see into my soul, I think. Rationally I know that it isn't wrong - connection making, apologies, empathy. But the gesture seems hollow, even when it isn't.

_________________________________________

We picked out a pine casket. Emily made no plans for death, so we chose a simple linen shroud for her and a pine box with pine nails. The first casket we picked out couldn't accommodate Emily. "Your sister was a big girl," said the funeral direction, a euphemistic and transparent attempt to deflect our attention away from her weight and ungainly appearance. She was bloated from the twin scourges of years of medication that toyed with her metabolism and a cruel bloating that puffed her up after the last breath had escaped her body.

The coffin would be lowered into the ground in front of our friends, our family, proof that her lifeless body was inside and that she really was gone. "There's no viewing, right?" one of us asked. No, no viewing. Jews don't do that. And no embalming either. Even without the extras, her death would cost twice the price of breaking her lease. We would stand in the cemetery on a cold gray day and a rabbi who never met her would talk about her troubled life. Dropping out of college, her menial jobs, her frequent visits to hospitals. He would probably leave out the part about her visit to the hospital. And then friends would come back to the house.

After my father died, several dozen friends stopped by and paid their condolences. For Emily's funeral, friends were flying in from all over the country to show support for us. The loss of a parent is expected. The loss of a child is tragic.

___________________________________________

I found many journals that Emily kept during her illness. They were distinguished from her pre-illness journals in that they were all written in open verse - and all were essentially about the same thing - her hatred of other people, and her rejection of them and herself. I found one journal from 1997, written about six months after her first 'psychotic break', which was uncharacteristically written in prose.

She wrote:

May 15, 1997

I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE

Slit wrists

take pills

shoot me

hang myself

I'm on the edge of suicide today. I want my forever today. I don't want to struggle anymore. I'm not strong enough to do this alone. I have no outlet for my pain.

"There's not enough room in this world for my pain."

I need to leave. I don't belong here. I just can't live in my world alone anymore. It doesn't work. I can't express in worlds how much pain I feel. All the meds in the world can't help them go away. They consume me. I remember when I was little I had an outfit with white sheep on it and one black sheep and I always remember connecting - feeling like I was the black sheep I have never in my life felt needed by anyone.

I am a super thinker - I have too many thoughts for my own good. It's like I developed my thinking abilities to overcompensate for the excess of emotions. It started in high school & continued up through freshman year of college. I am a sensitive person. With my history of the outside world hurting me.

1. Sisters manipulating me

2. Mom

3. Dad

4. School People

Sensitivity + outside world = overcompensated thinking

Too many overpowering emotions plus I never learned how to define them forced me to rationalize my emotions. And then push them to the unconscious.

___________________________________________________________

On the morning of the funeral, Amanda, mom and I thought about what we were going to say. We already knew we needed to address Emily's illness - Emily was sick, and sickness is how she defined her life, and how she justified her actions and how she allowed herself to be unemployed. Amanda made notes on her computer, focusing on Emily's life before age 20 -- the happy years, as we saw it. Even though Emily's journals after 1996 focused on the negative aspects of her childhood and could only be described at 'revisionist history', as we saw it from the outside, she had a good life with my parents. She was treated well, even spoiled. She got everything she ever wanted. She was allowed to do things that Amanda and I were prohibited from doing - regular weekend trips to New York with her high school friends, where they bar hopped from underage-friendly spot to underage-friendly spot, without a lick of adult supervision. She kept journals about hooking up with boys, getting into fights with her friends, and smoking pot. By the time she was in college, she was smoking pot on a daily basis - a classic 'wake and bake' formula for getting through her college years. Later she would claim that the pot smoking calmed her racing thoughts. Maybe she was self-medicating. She was definitely trying to make her pain, awkwardness, and self-loathing go away. None of that would make it into the eulogy.

We drove to the cemetery. My friend Ed flew in from Chicago for the day to be with us and provide support. He drove my mother's car and escorted us to the grave site. The rabbi was there, as were my friends, Amanda's friends, and my Mom's friends. Emily did not have a single friend show up.

Her friends had melted away.

The rabbi spoke in generalities. Emily was a good person, who loved music.

In her files from her hospitalization at McLean, one of the doctors wrote that one of her roommates complained because she spent six hours standing at the window and singing to the street.

The rabbi said that she was a gymnast.

True. She was when she was 9.

The rabbi continued with prayers. The Hebrew seemed especially meaningful - she had been the only one of us to be Bat Mitzvah'd and the only one of us with a spiritual life of any kind. I had no idea what we were saying. Amen. Amen. I could say that with confidence. Amen, please let her rest.

And then Amanda stood up and addressed the gathered. Immediately she mentioned the illness, how Emily's life could be divided into before and after, and how she would focus on the before. She painted a picture of a lively, if bratty younger sister who was unselfconscious and uncomplicated. And then she talked about the last 10 years, Emily's struggle, her pain, her increasingly confused mental state, her abusiveness. I could hear people behind me, crying. I clasped my mothers hand. I wanted to turn around and see who was crying. I could hear people sobbing, loudly.

__________________________________________________

Dave Matthews was inside Emily's head. This is what she told the doctor at college after my mother finally her out of jail on a dark night in October 1996. She had been arrested for trespassing and disturbing the peace. She was 20, and her delusion came in the form of Dave Matthew's voice, a voice that told her that he loved her, and that he was Buddha and she was Jesus. He was going to marry her. She left the door of her apartment open so that he could come in when he arrived. Her roommate found the door unlocked - a risk in the dangerous neighborhood where they lived. After disappearing for two days - she claimed she abandoned her car and walked along the tarmac at the local airport, before heading downtown to a Hyatt hotel, eating breakfast, and running out on the bill - she went from room to room at the local Holiday Inn looking for Dave Matthews. She knocked on every door.

Back in Boston, we had no idea where she was. We didn't know she was delusional, we didn't know if she had been abducted. Slowly details came out. How Emily was acting weird. How Emily said she was going to start a cult and would her friends join her? She had written out Dave Matthews lyrics all over the house, and told her friends that his photo spoke to her. What she didn't tell them - and what we only found out later - is that her psychosis began with a realization. In a flash of light in the liminal period between wakefulness and sleep, she realized that she had been sexually abused. She had been graphically, hysterically, serially sexually abused.

By my father.

Back up a moment. There are a few things about my father that anyone who met him noticed. The first thing was that he could barely walk. After suffering from tuberculosis in his hip in the 1950s, he had received an early artificial hip that left him with one leg longer than the other. He never bothered to fix it as he was terrified of hospitals, having spent years of his life in one during his teens.

The other thing about my father was that he was physically unable to lift his bags. He traveled for his work, and always seemed to have someone carting around his bags for him. He was a physically weak man, despite his sizable girth.

And yet Emily claimed that for years he had put pills in her milk before bed - never mind that she didn't drink milk - and carried her to the basement. This was a physical impossibility for my father. Additionally, I was always the last one awake in my house - I knew what was going on at all hours, as I was studying all the time during my last few years of high school. He never came upstairs where we slept - the last time he did, I was probably 9 or 10 years old.

So her claim was a delusion too - one that would come back again and again every time she became psychotic. Her records from her hospitalizations and from her half-way houses and day programs all verify that only when she was experiencing her illness did she make this claim. Yet my father was destroyed by her pronouncement of his evil. My father was difficult, yes, but he was not a child sexual abuser. He withered in the days, months and years that followed, always trying to make things better for Emily. But only as he lay dying in a hospital bed, unable to speak, did she apologize to him. Her meds must have been working. She apologized for lying. She knew, when she was clear, that it was a story. Maybe it helped her rationalize her illness? Maybe it helped her justify her shame? I never knew.

_____________________________

Emily's apartment was big for a person with no income. Although only two rooms with a bathroom and a kitchenette, at nearly $1200 per month, it seemed excessive. Everything in the apartment was new - a new desk, new chairs, new sofa, new bed, new rugs, new wall art, and a new password-protected computer. There were bags of new things - she had been shopping at Ikea and at the Container Store in preparation for her move. New clothes hung in the closet, price tags still attached. She had been manic in the days preceding her death - she had racked up nearly $13,000 in credit card debt. Yet she was collecting food stamps and had applied for SSI - social security for people with disabilities who are unable to work.

The bathroom was blocked by a cat litter box. Emily had two cats - taken away by animal control after my mother found her body - and they had been fending for themselves in the days following Emily's death. My mother said the cats had been feeding freely from a bag of food. Their litter box hadn't been cleaned in well over a week. We moved it and its offending odor to the back porch.

There were no notes, no signs, no recent journals that could give us insight into what happened. Her pillows still had the indent of her head. "She looked like a parody of herself when I found her," my mother whispered. "Her lips were blue and her fingers were blue and her eyes were blue and closed." She paused. "She was bloated. I thought she was wearing purple lipstick at first. I will never get that image out of my head."

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We still do not know how Emily died. The medical examiner told us it will take at least 12 weeks to get results from the fluid and tissue samples.

In her autopsy, nothing was out of place. Her organs looked good. They could tell us nothing.

We comfort ourselves now with uncertainty. Maybe she didn't kill herself, we tell ourselves. Maybe it was just an unfortunate side effect that no one could foresee.

Did we kill her? When Emily was little, maybe three or four, we used to tell her that we were calling the funny farm to take her away. One of us would shriek like a siren, and we would get on the phone and ask them to stop by our house and pick Emily up. She would scream and cry and tell on us. But she did end up in the funny farm. And I wonder, if we hadn't made the suggestion to her all those years ago, would we be where we are today?

You can make donations in Emily's name to:

MGH BIPOLAR CLINIC AND RESEARCH PROGRAM
c/o MGH DEVELOPMENT OFFICE
100 CHARLES RIVER PLAZA
SUITE 600
BOSTON, MA 02114

http://www.manicdepressive.org/

Gambling at The Time Out Chicago Eat Out Awards Ceremony

No one from Tipsycake was interested in going with Naomi to the Time Out Chicago First Annual Eat Out Awards last Monday. So she recruited me to be her date.

I tore out of the company parking garage at 5:30, a half an hour later than I was supposed to leave. I called Naomi to let her know I was running late. "You're not backing out on me, are you? Cause I'm counting on you." No, I assured her, I was going to go with her, but I would be late, cutting short the free drinking we would presumably be doing before the awards ceremony began.

I arrived at Tipsycake 10 minutes before our taxi was scheduled to arrive. We opted for the taxi because of the challenges of parking around the Harold Washington Library, where the ceremony was taking place. The evening was unusually warm so I showed up in an Australian sun dress by Gorman that I had purchased in Melbourne back in December, in part to honor Naomi, who is from Sydney.

At Harold Washington Library, we were directed to the top floor, the Winter Garden Room. It is an airy, bright sun room at the top of the library. There are trees and flowers and it has the feel of a function hall in the suburbs.  Famous names and faces from every segment of the Chicago dining scene was there, from Hot Doug Sohn of Hot Doug's (the foie gras avenger) to pretty boy tv star Rick Bayless to the bartenders of Chicago's finest dive bars. It was a diverse and unusual crowd - and given the industry presence, it made sense that the ceremony was taking place on a Monday, the nearly universal day off for restaurants.

Naomi and I stood by the door to intercept the servers as they brought out platters of food. There were pieces of chicken piled on a cucumber (I dropped a few), pieces of mozzarella with a dollop of tomato, and grilled cheese sandwiches on a stick made to resemble lollipops. Naomi made a beeline to the booze table and threw tips to the bartenders to ensure her glass would always be full. I found myself standing in the wrong place every time another tray came out and had to follow the servers around the room, trying to nab another free morsel.

We were assigned to unlucky table 13. After we took our seats, Naomi turned to me for reassurance. "Do you think Tipsycake will win?" she asked. "No," I answered, "BomBon is going to win." I figured Laura Cid Perea's third restaurant/cafe/bakery was a shoe-in for the "Best New Bakery" honor. I can be a jerk.

Soon we were joined at our table by Chef GEB of Avenues, his front of the house manager, his sous chef, and the PR rep for the Peninsula Hotel and Avenues. They were nominated for best hotel restaurant.

I knew about Chef GEB from his posts on LTHForum.com . I had never met him, and I was surprised that he was as young as he was. The first and only question I asked him that night (he spent the rest of the night glad handling admirers and texting someone on his phone) was about his food. "So," I asked. "What do you call your cuisine? Some people have lumped you in to the molecular gastronomy camp. Others prefer to call it 'new cookery.' What do you call your cooking?"

Without missing a beat, he answered, "Contemporary Cuisine, or Chef GEB's cuisine."

I asked him what contemporary cuisine meant. It just seemed like a meaningless term for the food he was turning out of his kitchen. The explanation was cut short by the arrival of a few more associates who showed up to shake his hand.

The servers began bringing out platters of food as we waited for the award ceremony to begin. They brought out crudites, a plate of desserts, rice paper filled with rice, shrimp, and a sweet and hot sauce, and roast beef on choux pastry. Realizing that we had a long, boring ceremony ahead, I suggested to the table that we bet on the outcome of the Eat Out awards.

There were plenty of 'ballots' on the table, so each of us took one and filled out our picks for winners. Five dollars was the price of entry. By the time the awards began, we had eight people submitting ballots for a total of $40 - low stakes but enough to make the proceedings more tolerable.

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I kept tally during the awards, giving points and taking off marks for each category. My score keeping was momentarily interrupted when Tipsycake unexpectedly won the Best New Bakery Award.

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Yep, she won! And pulled me up on stage with her. I tried to stay to the side so that she would get all the attention and that I would - hopefully - stay out of photographs. That hope was short lived when we were pulled aside and told to pose for the camera. Luckily Time Out opted to not post our photo to their website. While she still stood on stage, Naomi grabbed the microphone and yelled out, "Aussie Aussie Aussie."

There was no response from the audience. I yelled out "Oy Oy Oy!" from my perch at the side of the stage, but since I wasn't near the microphone, I doubt anyone heard.

Back at our table, I caught up with the categories I had missed scoring. I added up the numbers after the last award - for best fine dining - had been given to Alinea. While I scored an impressive 12 points, Susan, the PR person from the Peninsula, cleaned up with 14 points. "I eat out a lot," she explained. I don't, but I try and remember what I hear about places in Chicago. Unsurprisingly, my Achilles heel was bars and pubs. I'm really pretty clueless when it comes to the 'in' dive bars in Chicago. I'm more of a stay-in-and-drink person. You know, cheap.

Susan gloated over her win:

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But our night wasn't over then. One of Naomi's TOC Eat Out "Best New Bakery" competitors, Natalie Zarzour of Pasticceria Natalina, a four-week old bakery in the Andersenville neighborhood on the northside, approached her to congratulate her on the win. Of course, because I had been on stage first, she turned to me to tell me how much she wanted to meet me. Gently I directed her to Naomi, who would be delighted to be congratulated. Natalie, who brought her husband and business partner Nick along, was a sincere and earnest 24 year old who had opened up her bakery using old family recipes from Sicily. She and her husband were the main staff, and had been experiencing issues around labor similar to those at Tipsycake (hard to find bakers, high labor costs, etc). Naomi and Natalie immediately hit it off.

Img_3324 We ended up downstairs in Nick and Natalie's car, talking, smoking and drinking wine with the owner of the L&L, a well-known old man dive bar in the middle of Boystown. He was grumpy and fun, with a shock of white hair, a dangly earring, and a natty jacket, worn just for the occasion. We were a motley crew, hanging out in a late model Jetta parked just under the el tracks. No one took any notice of us.

It seemed an usual ending to an otherwise uppity evening with the creme de la creme of the Chicago food scene.

I hope Naomi invites me next year. I'm going to study up on my Chicago restaurants so that I can clean up in the betting.

Moment of Donuts, Mexican-Style

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